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October 2005 Archives

"When the fire heats the

"When the fire heats the water to the boiling point,
we have to keep it lighted with the same intensity,
because if we reduce its flame, the water gets cold.
It is not enough to boil the water, we have to keep it
boiling all the time."

- a famous oriental/asian karate proverb

That is my philosophy in a nutshell.  And that is why
I study KARATE.  (pronounced Ka-ra-TE').

I like to keep my water boiling all the time.  That is
the essence of my male power.  And why I'm so good at
sales.  And why I'm so intense.

Also, I study Karate so that I can injure people HARD
if they wish me and mine harm.  I want to be able to
destroy them.  I want to be able to kick them in the
neck or throat if they come after me.  Which is just a
matter of time.

It's also good cardio.

Here in Scranton it is 46 degrees and SLEETY.  I love
sleet.  It's so bracing.  It's not snow (wimpy) or
rain (annoying).  It's sleet.  It's its own thing.
Sleet is the most unappreciated type of weather.  This
winter, let's all try and have a deeper respect for
sleet and what it does and what it is.

Also-  think about the way the throat and swallowing
works.  The epiglotis decides what goes where down the
trachea and/or esophogus.  But it gets no respect.
This tiny flap of skin in your neck decides if
something is food or air.  The food goes to your
tummy.  The air goes to your lungs.  Without it your
food would go straight into your lungs and clog them
up.  You'd have soup in your lungs. Or a sandwich.  Or
doritos.  Or Fresca.  OR you would get air in your
tummy and be a big gassy fart bag all the time.  All
that from the tiny, powerful epiglotis.

In many ways, I am like the epiglotis.  Small,
unappreciated, not well thought of or respected, but
POWERFUL.  So powerful that without me you'd have food
in your lungs.

Thoughts?  Questions?

Today's topic:  "What part of the body are YOU most
like?"  (and don't say the genitals or the butt)

That is all.

Dwight K. Schrute

Halloween is sooooo close I

Halloween is sooooo close I can almost smell it!  I
can almost taste all the candy!

Thank you, America for all of your SCHRUTE-SPACE
costume ideas.  My favorite suggestions were:

michael scott
pam
a beet
the crow
chewbacca
a volunteer sherriff's deputy
and
former FEMA director Michael Brown

None of those are as cool as a Sith Lord, though.  So
that is what I am going as.  The evil emperor
Palpatine.  I'm going to be the scariest guy in the
office.  I'm going to scare the pants off Toby.  Not
literally.  It's just an expression.  It means that
I'm going to really surprise him.  He will keep his
pants on.

Every Halloween, Mose and I light a bonfire at the
beet farm.  (It's no longer beet season)  We hang
scarecrows from the trees and have spooky sounds
playing all around.  We invite all the neighborhood
kids over for candy and punch and beer and hot dogs.
Last year we had a low turnout but it was still fun.
Mose and I got to eat all the beer and candy we
wanted, so that was cool.  Then we threw
bottle-rockets into the firey flames and hoped they
didn't explode right back at us and ignite our hair.

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  I wish every day
was Halloween.

I hope everyone that reads Schrute-Space gets their
pants scared off of them.  Not literally, though.

That is all.

Dwight Schrute