Seeing as it’s the second to last week in October, it seems fitting to discuss the major event that will soon be upon us: the full moon. This cannot taken lightly, as it only happens once every 29 and a half days when the synodic month is reset. It is also not to be taken lightly because of the havoc it creates around the world. FACT: more crime occurs during full moons than all of the other partial moons combined [source: imagination]. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

The full moon is also the time when the mythical lycanthrope, or “werewolf,” emerges. I do not believe in lycanthropes. I put no credence in the theory that a human can change into anything other than a decomposing human. Some of my relatives, however, fully trust that lycanthropes exist. Some have even claimed that they have seen them with their own eyes. They are obviously liars. They would have been devoured and unable to report the sighting. They also say that lycanthropes are especially attracted to Schrute Farm. False. The claw marks that we find the morning after full moons are from real wolves that enjoy the bounty of our farm. They are not from werewolves, no matter what you may have heard. Please do not let these rumors keep you away from the farm – it is beautiful this time of year. If you are seriously concerned, merely stay away from Schrute Farm during the full moon period and return as soon as the lunar cycle has advanced.