Schrute Space

I would like to say hello and God bless to all the new clients I met at Church of the Angels. You made the right decision by choosing Dunder Mifflin Sabre as your paper supplier. Might I remind you that the world's #1 bestseller, The Bible, is printed on paper. What's the oldest book in that paper bible? Job. What good deed are you completing by teaming up with DMS? You're helping 40-plus local paper employees keep their jobs (pronounced differently, but still - it comes full circle). Not only is Dunder Mifflin Sabre Paper Company efficient and economical, it's also made up of a bunch of hearty workers. Let me give you a little background. Jim and Pam Halpert, my desk mates (happily married couple), almost had their firstborn child at Dunder Mifflin, attempting to recreate a real live manger scene in consequence of their undying love for the company. Erin Hannon, humble receptionist, is friends with a number of nuns and orphans.  And Creed Bratton, Quality Assurance, claims to have once died and spoken with The Good Shepherd himself. These people are warm and real, and I can honestly tell you I don't hate them. You do not want to be doing business with a bunch of superstore corporate Lucifers who hold extravagant Ivy League educations, you want DMS salesmen Phyllis and Stanley -- a couple of jolly simpletons who think with their hearts, not their brains. Welcome to the Dunder Mifflin Sabre family. If you weren't already members of a church, you just may start to worship us.