There are 40 rules Schrute boys must memorize before age 5. The first rule being: "I am responsible for my actions and must live or die by their consequences." Personal responsibility is something all Schrutes revere. I've had to spend a fortune in repairs trying to mollify the groundless hysteria of my co-workers over "EMF." But true to my Schrute rules, I took responsibility for my building's failings, however overblown they may have been and no good deed goes unpunished. The final bill arrived from the work bus rental co. and, surprise, surprise, they tried to sneak in some ridiculous charges. I've copied it here for all to see.
Am I to bear even more financial hardship for the idiocy and incompetence of others? Pie stains on the seats? I have five words for that: Kevin, Phyllis, Kevin, Stanley, and Kevin. It's amazing how much food actually misses their mouths. They'd be better off using feedbags. (Note to self: try using feedbags for Phyllis, Stanley and Kevin. Especially Kevin.)
Muddy footprints on the roof? I want them to cross-reference that soil. No way it's mine. I wipe my shoes off every time I leave my fields. Quality soil doesn't just grow on trees. It grows under trees. That has to be all Jim. Have you seen his shoes? The man traipses about through clays and loams, frivolously mixing acidic and alkaline soils. The man has zero regard for agronomy. Disgusting.
Privacy curtain? Please. Andy makes a fool of himself so often in public that I don't think he you even knows what shame is. What could he possibly be doing that needs privacy?
And tape residue from a candy dish? Well, I won't fight that. Erin was only trying to receive our guests and make them feel warm and welcome on our little bus. I can hardly hold that against her. I'm not a barbarian.
Rest assured, I am filing a formal complaint for these ludicrous charges. These people have clearly never rented to a Schrute because a Schrute never pays beef prices for horse meat (Rule #24).
Muddy footprints on the roof? I want them to cross-reference that soil. No way it's mine. I wipe my shoes off every time I leave my fields. Quality soil doesn't just grow on trees. It grows under trees. That has to be all Jim. Have you seen his shoes? The man traipses about through clays and loams, frivolously mixing acidic and alkaline soils. The man has zero regard for agronomy. Disgusting.
Privacy curtain? Please. Andy makes a fool of himself so often in public that I don't think he you even knows what shame is. What could he possibly be doing that needs privacy?
And tape residue from a candy dish? Well, I won't fight that. Erin was only trying to receive our guests and make them feel warm and welcome on our little bus. I can hardly hold that against her. I'm not a barbarian.
Rest assured, I am filing a formal complaint for these ludicrous charges. These people have clearly never rented to a Schrute because a Schrute never pays beef prices for horse meat (Rule #24).